I'm home for the summer! Well I guess we shall see how much time I'll actually get to spend at home, lol. I am just grateful for the time away from the atmosphere that college provides.
Moving back is alot of work! I have had to rearrange my entire bedroom in order to fit stuff back so that it's liveable. I took some before pics and I'll have to take after pics once I actually get done. There is still work to do. And my car and suburban are still full. Ahhhhhhh! It's a little overwhelming. I collected way too much stuff, but hey it was 9 months! I guess I'll know better what I need when I go back in August, plus I'll have a roommate so that will change somethings as well. Well I need to go get ready to go to church. Just thought that I would let all those in blog world know where I am at and that I won't be on as much due to the fact that for my to log on I have get my laptop and sit in the schoolroom. Whereas in Hibbing I could be anywhere in my apartment and blog. Not too mention how busy I'll be!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Sitting Here Thinking
I have about an hour before I have to be at work. And I am sitting here thinking about a lot of stuff so I thought I would let you all in on a few of my very deep thoughts. LOL!
In one week I will be home and trying to rearrange 9 months of stuff, so that my room will be liveable for the 3 months I will be home. I think by the time it's how I want it to be it will be time for me to move back to Hibbing for my second year of culinary. Oh well, life is meant to be interesting. This summer I will be doing housekeeping in El* at an outfitters there. It should be interesting.
I hosted a few "parties" in the last few weeks. I believe I mentioned one in my last blog. I had fun hanging with friends even though it got late and I was tired and still am tired. I wouldn't trade any of it for anything. I got see some sides of people that I wouldn't have ever seen otherwise. I don't know what I am supposed to do with any of it. Ecspecially when it has to do with two certain people. I hate feeling like I am reading things into certain things. For some I would love to be wrong about others I would just like to understand. I got to here some different music... The Spill Canvas has some interesting music, that's for sure, and that was only one of them. I now have some music that one of my classmates did. It's really good.
College is definitely a learning experience. I have learned and grown a lot over the past year. I've walked through stuff that could have totally freaked me out, if not for the grace of God. I have lots of stories to tell, that I am not going to go into right now. Life is so good. I just wish that it didn't have to change so much. I was reading a book while waiting for someone to come over today, it's one I've heard before but it was difinetly worth reading again..."True courage is not the abscence of fear. It is refusing to allow fear to control your actions." Here is one that correlates as well, "Slavery to fear is much worse than the bruises and scars of a few falls." As I was reading, I was also listening to music and these lyrics caught my attention-
But I won't question in the dark
What is true out in the light
I will follow after You
Through the sun and through the night
Cause You've got me
Right where You want me
Yeah You've got me
Right where I need to be
And I'm standing amazed
These lyrics caught my attention because it's something that I have battled with. How many times do I question the Lord when things aren't going how I want and I am discouraged, but the principles and things that I know are still true they just seem really quiet. I'm tired of questioning in the dark when I know what's true. If that makes since. I've had the reassurance throughout this last year that I am right where He has wanted me to be. And in the good times I do stand amazed, now in those dark times I just have to remember that. I hope my ramblings make some sense.
Well I have to be to work in about 10 mintues so I had better get moving.
Later-
In one week I will be home and trying to rearrange 9 months of stuff, so that my room will be liveable for the 3 months I will be home. I think by the time it's how I want it to be it will be time for me to move back to Hibbing for my second year of culinary. Oh well, life is meant to be interesting. This summer I will be doing housekeeping in El* at an outfitters there. It should be interesting.
I hosted a few "parties" in the last few weeks. I believe I mentioned one in my last blog. I had fun hanging with friends even though it got late and I was tired and still am tired. I wouldn't trade any of it for anything. I got see some sides of people that I wouldn't have ever seen otherwise. I don't know what I am supposed to do with any of it. Ecspecially when it has to do with two certain people. I hate feeling like I am reading things into certain things. For some I would love to be wrong about others I would just like to understand. I got to here some different music... The Spill Canvas has some interesting music, that's for sure, and that was only one of them. I now have some music that one of my classmates did. It's really good.
College is definitely a learning experience. I have learned and grown a lot over the past year. I've walked through stuff that could have totally freaked me out, if not for the grace of God. I have lots of stories to tell, that I am not going to go into right now. Life is so good. I just wish that it didn't have to change so much. I was reading a book while waiting for someone to come over today, it's one I've heard before but it was difinetly worth reading again..."True courage is not the abscence of fear. It is refusing to allow fear to control your actions." Here is one that correlates as well, "Slavery to fear is much worse than the bruises and scars of a few falls." As I was reading, I was also listening to music and these lyrics caught my attention-
But I won't question in the dark
What is true out in the light
I will follow after You
Through the sun and through the night
Cause You've got me
Right where You want me
Yeah You've got me
Right where I need to be
And I'm standing amazed
These lyrics caught my attention because it's something that I have battled with. How many times do I question the Lord when things aren't going how I want and I am discouraged, but the principles and things that I know are still true they just seem really quiet. I'm tired of questioning in the dark when I know what's true. If that makes since. I've had the reassurance throughout this last year that I am right where He has wanted me to be. And in the good times I do stand amazed, now in those dark times I just have to remember that. I hope my ramblings make some sense.
Well I have to be to work in about 10 mintues so I had better get moving.
Later-
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Almost Done
I am almost done and I am very relieved. Last week was so STRESSFUL! I really just want to go home, even though I am going to have to rearrange everything for 3 months. I had to walk through so many things last week, it's not even the least bit funny. There were a few good times like walks with a friend, I had a party, my paycheck was bigger than I expected. Really right now I should not be on here... I onve again have way to much to do since I have procrastinated all day. I have 2 papers to do before Tuesday and finals to get ready for. I really don't even want to think about it at all. Anyways right now I'm not really in a good mood. I really wish I was and that I hadn't put off all my homework and stuff. I'm tired too. Well I had better get back to work on my papers and typing recipes. I just wish this was all over, but hey it all will be soon.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Final
By the way my culinary practical final is on Tuesday... I'm hoping for the best! I'm praying for God's peace, wisdom, and confidence to get me through.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Sarcasm
Ok here it goes!
I'm almost done with my first year of college and although I thought I could almost take a sigh of relief, I find that I have a couple of hurdles to jump and hedges to look around. And I'm not too excited about the one that will be happening the soonest, I just hope that it's not what I think it is. I'm sorry the specifics on that one will remain vague....
Anyways as the year is winding down and I look back over and contemplate my interactions with my classmates, I find that I have found a not so great coping mechanism.... SARCASM. I understand that it might not be that big a deal, but I feel convicted. There is always so much teasing, so many negative conversations and a word play/twisting swirling around me. And how do I respond... Sarcasm. I often find myself suddenly having something quick to respond with to whoever is conversing with me. Don't get me wrong, I never talk inappropriately! I just respond quickly and to their often "interesting" (if you know what I mean) comments. I enjoy the word play that can go back and forth, but is responding that way always right? I do know one thing most of the time sarcasm tears down, it doesn't build up, like the Bible says that our communication should. That is why I feel convicted. I feel stuck in this rut that I have put myself in while entering into the day to day banter of my culinary classes. Everybody does it! I don't want to tear down, because I fully realize that something said sarcastically or as a joke can come back and haunt you and the person that you said it to. In the greek it literally means "to tear flesh". Pretty terrible huh?
Here are a few things that I have found that I am going to try to remember with the Holy Spirit's prompting. "He who guards his mouth preserves his life, But he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction" "A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness." "The lips of the wise disperse knowledge, But the heart of the fool does not do so." "A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, And a word spoken in due season, how good it is!" "The words of a man's mouth are deep waters; The wellspring of wisdom is a flowing brook." "Whoever guards his mouth and tongue Keeps his soul from troubles." "In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, But whoever restrains his lips is wise. The tongue of the righteous is choice silver; the heart of the wicked is worth little, The lips of the righteous feed many, But fools die for lack of wisdom" And this one always gets me "Life and death are in the power of the tongue, those who love it shall eat its fruit." In James it talks about the power of the tongue being like the small rudder of a ship steering a big ship or a small spark setting a forest fire. Then in Colossians it says that our speech is to be graceful, and seasoned with salt as Mathew says that we are the salt of the earth. How's that for convicting? It sure has gotten to me.
I have an excuse though it's how I hide what I'm really feeling. It has also become how I cope with the "stuff" that goes on. SARCASM has become a BAD habit. It's how I interact to "fit" in without compromising. But yet I have because I'm not always speaking life! It's so easy to say something sarcastic and have everyone laugh and then it's no longer about me. So what am I supposed to do?
I haven't figured out all the answers to this nagging question... Sarcasm? Do? or Don't? I guess there is a place for it sometimes, maybe? I just know that it's something I'm beginning to watch more carefully, I'm just concerned that my tongue will become very battered and bruised from me continually having to bite it. If I'm using sarcasm as a method of hiding and coping, what's the truth behind my classmates, sarcasm and word plays? Maybe if I hold my tongue more I can listen to the truth behind the veil of sarcasm and the word plays they are constantly welding.
Learning to bite my tongue and listen is the new habit I will be practicing tomorrow and the days to come. As the old saying goes "if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all."
I'm almost done with my first year of college and although I thought I could almost take a sigh of relief, I find that I have a couple of hurdles to jump and hedges to look around. And I'm not too excited about the one that will be happening the soonest, I just hope that it's not what I think it is. I'm sorry the specifics on that one will remain vague....
Anyways as the year is winding down and I look back over and contemplate my interactions with my classmates, I find that I have found a not so great coping mechanism.... SARCASM. I understand that it might not be that big a deal, but I feel convicted. There is always so much teasing, so many negative conversations and a word play/twisting swirling around me. And how do I respond... Sarcasm. I often find myself suddenly having something quick to respond with to whoever is conversing with me. Don't get me wrong, I never talk inappropriately! I just respond quickly and to their often "interesting" (if you know what I mean) comments. I enjoy the word play that can go back and forth, but is responding that way always right? I do know one thing most of the time sarcasm tears down, it doesn't build up, like the Bible says that our communication should. That is why I feel convicted. I feel stuck in this rut that I have put myself in while entering into the day to day banter of my culinary classes. Everybody does it! I don't want to tear down, because I fully realize that something said sarcastically or as a joke can come back and haunt you and the person that you said it to. In the greek it literally means "to tear flesh". Pretty terrible huh?
Here are a few things that I have found that I am going to try to remember with the Holy Spirit's prompting. "He who guards his mouth preserves his life, But he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction" "A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness." "The lips of the wise disperse knowledge, But the heart of the fool does not do so." "A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, And a word spoken in due season, how good it is!" "The words of a man's mouth are deep waters; The wellspring of wisdom is a flowing brook." "Whoever guards his mouth and tongue Keeps his soul from troubles." "In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, But whoever restrains his lips is wise. The tongue of the righteous is choice silver; the heart of the wicked is worth little, The lips of the righteous feed many, But fools die for lack of wisdom" And this one always gets me "Life and death are in the power of the tongue, those who love it shall eat its fruit." In James it talks about the power of the tongue being like the small rudder of a ship steering a big ship or a small spark setting a forest fire. Then in Colossians it says that our speech is to be graceful, and seasoned with salt as Mathew says that we are the salt of the earth. How's that for convicting? It sure has gotten to me.
I have an excuse though it's how I hide what I'm really feeling. It has also become how I cope with the "stuff" that goes on. SARCASM has become a BAD habit. It's how I interact to "fit" in without compromising. But yet I have because I'm not always speaking life! It's so easy to say something sarcastic and have everyone laugh and then it's no longer about me. So what am I supposed to do?
I haven't figured out all the answers to this nagging question... Sarcasm? Do? or Don't? I guess there is a place for it sometimes, maybe? I just know that it's something I'm beginning to watch more carefully, I'm just concerned that my tongue will become very battered and bruised from me continually having to bite it. If I'm using sarcasm as a method of hiding and coping, what's the truth behind my classmates, sarcasm and word plays? Maybe if I hold my tongue more I can listen to the truth behind the veil of sarcasm and the word plays they are constantly welding.
Learning to bite my tongue and listen is the new habit I will be practicing tomorrow and the days to come. As the old saying goes "if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all."
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