What is Worth It?

Don't ask me if the title of this blog is supposed to make any sense, ok. I just want to figure is what I have been trying NOT to think about worth my time trying NOT to think about it? I don't know. If I stop trying NOT to think about it will I stop thinking about it? I have no clue! I wish I knew the answer. Right now I am just really tired and I just finished my homework and it took me about 4 hours to do 3 questions, of course I had my tv on, but still I was diligently working. I don't even know if I did it right. It kind of freaks me out because I really want to do well in my classes, I just don't know. It doesn't help that right now I am super emotional and a tish crabby because of it. And to add to all that I seem to be constantly crabby. Oh and did I mention that there is drama going on? I really don't like drama it just gets so over dramatic. It doesn't bother me as much as last year and most of it just rolls right off my back, but it sure is annoying. Why do so many people depend on drama to entertain them? I'm not really sure. I know one person who's life statement is... oh never mind, I can't really say it on here. The ups and downs of college life wouldn't be so up and down if it weren't for those around me having so many ups and downs that seem to slightly effect mine.

Here is my question of the week (even though the week is almost over): What is worth it (i.e. my time, my thoughts, my efforts, my talking)? Actually I should say that that is the question I will be judging everything by and I will use Phil 4:? (I'm too tired to go check the verse on that one, but it's the one that goes, "whatever is pure, whatever is noble, etc.... think on these things")

You have just read my rambling and very tired thoughts. I hope it was worth your time. I don't really think it was but I'm still going to publish it. I'm not sure why though...

P.S. Life is going just fine, it's actually pretty good all in all. :)

Back to School

Here are some pics of my apartment all set up and ready for school. Here I am back at the place where I can say with all certainty is where God wants me to be. I am here with the confidence that He will walk me through and be my constant companion through it all. I may not feel ready but with God I can do it all and I choose to confess that this day.

Ok, I am done preaching at myself. What do you think of the view out my windows. Right now I can see and here a race going on over at the race track. It's loud and if it's like last year it will go late.

It is so weird to be back because it almost doesn't feel like I left. The summer almost feels like a distant dream. And it was a good summer.

Living in town does have it's benefits like going to the dollar store and finding Nichole Nordeman, Avalon, Audio A and Jump5 cds all for a dollar a piece. I was really excited because I really like Nichole Nordeman's music it has such an honest, raw quality. And Audio Adrenaline is a classic Christian band almost as classic as DCTalk. Speaking of music I should probably go and change my playlist soon. Oh and I pre-ordered Skillet's cd Awake back in June and it comes out next week. I'm super stoked. So a week from tomorrow I should have it in my hands along with my last paycheck. I'm looking forward to that.

Well I will try to keep on here a little bit better, I promise.

Ponderings That Never Seem to End....

I keep wanting to blog, but I keep putting it off because...well... I wanted to write something profound. Right now the thoughts that are circling aren't anything remarkable, but here I go...

Here I am approaching my second year of college and the final one to accomplishing the goal I set, in going for 2 years of culinary arts. And the future just seems so ominous. What in the world does the future hold? That is the question that just keeps going through my head....(breath a deep breath) I have so many dreams and ideas in my head and at this point they all seem to clash. I know I'll know more when I get there and that I could change some of my goals, I already have done that I few times... I guess trying to look 10 months into the future keeps me from freaking out too much about the near future. :) I hate having expectations because things rarely meet them. Yet expectations are inevitable. So I just keeping making the cycle. Really all in all I'm not too worried about the future I just want to know what to do about some of it. There seem to be no easy answers...

I keep throwing myself into all sorts of projects here at home and going to work, because so much of life just seems...I don't know... just so undecided. So many things I desire aren't for now and I can't get discontent. I'm enjoying where I am and I try to relax about somethings. My emotions keep getting all caught up in things and it's no fun trying to untangle them from reality. See this is why I haven't blogged everything I write just sounds confusing and terrible and things aren't terrible there are just a lot of unknowns for me right now, of course if I knew everything I'd be overwhelmed. I can see God working and even when I can't visibly see it, I can sense it. There are so many things I just want to change in my life and they all start with a choice, imagine that... it's up to me.... I don't know where I am going with all this I just thought I would let everyone see that...well...I really don't have things together right now, but I know things will work out. Until next time... :)