Just Not Feeling It

I've just not been feeling blogging lately. Believe me I have sat down and tried but each time my mind and my fingers rebel against the thought. It goes something like this... "I should blog. What should I blog about?" So I sit down and log in and start typing something and before long I can't think of anything interesting and then I start thinking about other things I need to do such as homework or dishes or reading a book or text a friend and I my fingers start telling me that they are tired after typing up all that homework. I just run out blogging ambition. I don't think it's always so much I don't have much to say, my thoughts just run over and I get overwhelmed and then I "just don't feel it". I am trying to get re-inspired especially since I just caught up on reading my two favorite blogs. Modest is Hottest and Yaak Adventures.

This will have to be somewhat short however as I should be getting ready to go to church, but I'm not cutting it too close don't worry. I have been super busy (of course) and finals are coming up. I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to graduating in 6 weeks. I can't believe how fast it's gone. Many of you may be wondering what exactly is next for me well, I put forth some tidbits after spring break but here are my plans. I am moving home to my parents house deep in the boonies of MN for the summer, hopefully I will work at a camp near them. I had an interview with the camp last Friday and I think it went well. Either way I am moving home. Than in August I am moving to a big town that ends with an H that's closer to my parents house than where I am now. I am going to be going to college again and will be taking mostly general classes with the thought that I may decide to get a 2 year degree in business. Every time I have thought about moving somewhere I have kept coming back to this big town that ends with an H. So after considering my options. This is my decision.

Believe me when I say that this is not a decision that I have made lightly. It is also a decision that is not coming easy for me to walk out. Around every corner seems to be another obstacle that I have to overcome and another uncertainty that I have to avoid freaking out over. I have had to take it one day at a time. I feel like I've got most things taken care of now, but I'm staying on my guard.

I have been having some amazing fun with friends. I'm not always sure how I get it all squeezed in but I have to say that I love it :) Late night walks, time in the park, lots of talking, ice cream, texting, randomness these are all things that pretty much sum it up.

Well I have some other deeper thoughts that I want to post, but I have to get ready for church now. And I have plans this afternoon, so hopefully I will post again today, but don't hold me to it.
Later-

School....ALREADY!!! Yikes!!!!

I know I haven't been on here for awhile. I have been mulling some things over that I will soon post about. I CAN NOT believe that in a week and a half I will be living back in Hibbing for the school year and God only knows what comes after that (I don't say that lightly). A year ago I had no clue where I would be at and now here I am entering yet another new season of my life! I am excited but slightly hesitant. Anyways back to the present! This is my last week of my summer job, it's been good, but I have to say that I won't miss the 80 miles that I drive every day that I work. My car has held up through it all and I've been getting 30-36 miles to the gallon all summer. This is because I just get in my car and go there is only one stop sign and that's when I get to town. Tomorrow I am going to get my back to school haircut! I am pretty excited for that, since my bangs are always annoyingly in my eyes. They make it hard to berry pick. Tonight I went out with my mom and my sis Sal (check out here new blog with her friend ME www.modest--is--hottest.blogspot.com) and my mom and I picked about a gallon of berries each in 2 hours. So that's not too bad considering last week we went out about 3 hours and picked a gallon combined. This summer has been crazy weather wise. I don't know how many times I've driven to work and had to use my wipers. It's funny how many different types of weather you can see during a 40 mile drive :) I think part of the reason I'm kinda in "withdrawal" about the fact that school starts in 2 weeks it's because summer never really arrived, although it's supposed to be nice and warm for the next few days. I have to say it will be nice to have a change in weather even though I work for the next 3 days. The major project of putting books and shelves up is done! It's a great feeling and it looks really nice. There are a few more boxes to empty but first we must have another rummage sale. My mom did do pretty well getting rid of books, better than I expected! I'm hoping to get pictures up soon on here and my facebook. Sometimes I'm not sure where time goes, but I look and think oh I'm doing ok time wise and than I look again and time is gone. That is just one of my many ponderings. Hopefully I'll get on here again soon and post one of my more in depth blogs. Right now you'll all just have to be patient. Remember to F.R.O.G. (Fully Rely on God)

Ponderings That Never Seem to End....

I keep wanting to blog, but I keep putting it off because...well... I wanted to write something profound. Right now the thoughts that are circling aren't anything remarkable, but here I go...

Here I am approaching my second year of college and the final one to accomplishing the goal I set, in going for 2 years of culinary arts. And the future just seems so ominous. What in the world does the future hold? That is the question that just keeps going through my head....(breath a deep breath) I have so many dreams and ideas in my head and at this point they all seem to clash. I know I'll know more when I get there and that I could change some of my goals, I already have done that I few times... I guess trying to look 10 months into the future keeps me from freaking out too much about the near future. :) I hate having expectations because things rarely meet them. Yet expectations are inevitable. So I just keeping making the cycle. Really all in all I'm not too worried about the future I just want to know what to do about some of it. There seem to be no easy answers...

I keep throwing myself into all sorts of projects here at home and going to work, because so much of life just seems...I don't know... just so undecided. So many things I desire aren't for now and I can't get discontent. I'm enjoying where I am and I try to relax about somethings. My emotions keep getting all caught up in things and it's no fun trying to untangle them from reality. See this is why I haven't blogged everything I write just sounds confusing and terrible and things aren't terrible there are just a lot of unknowns for me right now, of course if I knew everything I'd be overwhelmed. I can see God working and even when I can't visibly see it, I can sense it. There are so many things I just want to change in my life and they all start with a choice, imagine that... it's up to me.... I don't know where I am going with all this I just thought I would let everyone see that...well...I really don't have things together right now, but I know things will work out. Until next time... :)