Just Not Feeling It

I've just not been feeling blogging lately. Believe me I have sat down and tried but each time my mind and my fingers rebel against the thought. It goes something like this... "I should blog. What should I blog about?" So I sit down and log in and start typing something and before long I can't think of anything interesting and then I start thinking about other things I need to do such as homework or dishes or reading a book or text a friend and I my fingers start telling me that they are tired after typing up all that homework. I just run out blogging ambition. I don't think it's always so much I don't have much to say, my thoughts just run over and I get overwhelmed and then I "just don't feel it". I am trying to get re-inspired especially since I just caught up on reading my two favorite blogs. Modest is Hottest and Yaak Adventures.

This will have to be somewhat short however as I should be getting ready to go to church, but I'm not cutting it too close don't worry. I have been super busy (of course) and finals are coming up. I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to graduating in 6 weeks. I can't believe how fast it's gone. Many of you may be wondering what exactly is next for me well, I put forth some tidbits after spring break but here are my plans. I am moving home to my parents house deep in the boonies of MN for the summer, hopefully I will work at a camp near them. I had an interview with the camp last Friday and I think it went well. Either way I am moving home. Than in August I am moving to a big town that ends with an H that's closer to my parents house than where I am now. I am going to be going to college again and will be taking mostly general classes with the thought that I may decide to get a 2 year degree in business. Every time I have thought about moving somewhere I have kept coming back to this big town that ends with an H. So after considering my options. This is my decision.

Believe me when I say that this is not a decision that I have made lightly. It is also a decision that is not coming easy for me to walk out. Around every corner seems to be another obstacle that I have to overcome and another uncertainty that I have to avoid freaking out over. I have had to take it one day at a time. I feel like I've got most things taken care of now, but I'm staying on my guard.

I have been having some amazing fun with friends. I'm not always sure how I get it all squeezed in but I have to say that I love it :) Late night walks, time in the park, lots of talking, ice cream, texting, randomness these are all things that pretty much sum it up.

Well I have some other deeper thoughts that I want to post, but I have to get ready for church now. And I have plans this afternoon, so hopefully I will post again today, but don't hold me to it.
Later-

Grateful.....

I am so grateful for my dad and my mom! This weekend was tough. I got blindsided with "stuff" a huge mind battle with the side effects of discouragement, grumpiness, crankiness, frustration, irritation, and a sense of just oppression. I fought really hard, then I decided I had to call my dad and he prayed with me and I felt freeer and I had a good evening. Then today I got hit with a lot of emotion. Again I called my parents they walked me through and prayed with me. It was a hard weekend for me and not a lot of fun. I am very thankful that I have people that I can go to when I'm struggling and can't do it on my own. I am determined and confessing that this week will be my best week in a month. The joy of the Lord is my strength. I have also been trying to listen to some of my really good music that I really know by heart and that has helped too.

Music is powerful. It played a big part in my attitude and me getting through my teen years at home. It's helped to settle things in my heart, served as a reminder, helped me through the bad times and the good times. There are days I struggle to press in and connect with the Lord and the one thing that has always worked to get me in a tune with the Lord is music. I love my music!

Anyways I need to work on some homework, fill out an application, tidy up before the week starts and maybe start some seeds.

Life is good and getting better! Hallelujah!!!!

Wow this is sooooo Random

It's almost Spring break! And then I only have 10 weeks of class left! It's time to start studying for midterms! It's going way too fast, yet sometimes it doesn't go fast enough. Really though I am quite content to live my life the way I'm living it right now. And that way is busy, busy, busy.... And by the way this blog has no point just to make you aware of that fact early on. My brain is just really hyper right now.

I'm really looking forward to spring so that I can be outside without the risk of frostbite ;P. I'm just kidding, but really it has been cold and the last few days have been snowy and windy. I want to go barefoot in the warm dirt and smell spring and be able to take a walk and see the new life that spring brings. I'm not wishing the time away I'm just really anticipating what's to come.

Right now my stomach is making weird protests it wants food, seriously I don't really feel like eating so it should just stop wanting food, Right?

My eating habits the last few weeks have been terrible. My intentions of exercise and better eating habits are merely that intentions that seem content to flit through my head, they have yet to actually stick. There are few other things that I have good intentions about, too. I know that I need to make a change rather than just an intention. I just feel so busy and lazy when I'm not busy. Really truly seriously I just need to make a decision and stick to it. I know that's the answer, but sometimes it just feels like there are things you have to be able to just have so that you don't have to do them so that feels good. I don't know. I do know that that's not a good attitude to have. And it's one I need to change, but I don't FEEL like it. I am human you know I don't have it altogether like everyone seems to think I do. I feel like I'm lying to people when they think I'm just a perfect, serious, responsible, person all the time. I am most definitely human. Yet in reality I do my best to walk in the Light with the Word of God as my guide. So in a sense compared to how so many people live and view things I'm a "perfect goody-two-shoes". I am human and I do struggle, I just have the good guy on my side. I certainly hope that I am making sense and that I don't later regret posting this, sense I'm like functioning of adrenaline and sugar left over from a very uneventful day of school. I make wrong choices and I have to live with my mistakes.

I get to work tomorrow and Saturday. I like being busy and the money is nice. Yet that is the one thing that I'm starting to try to change my mind about. I don't want to be consumed by it. I find that all too often lately I'm thinking and changing the hours I put into work into $ signs. It's not bad to think about money, but it shouldn't be my focus right now. I've been convicted that it's the wrong mindset and you are all witness to the fact that I'm choosing to not be conformed to the world's way of thinking about money, instead I choose to be transformed by the renewing of my mind to God's Word. I choose to instead dwell on the fact that all my needs are supplied, I choose not to worry about tomorrow, I choose to focus on the fact that my Father God has supplied everything I have needed and will need. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills. I don't want to be so consumed with what's happening tomorrow that I miss out on today. I want to live every day to it's fullest. I'm not here on this earth to just live every day in the mundane until I die and go to be with Him. I'm here because He has an amazing plan and purpose for my life each and every single day. A plan for me to prosper for good and not for evil. There is a reason I am here breathing, there is a reason I'm alive. Since I'm submitted and living for the Lord, there is a plan and purpose for where I am. Some of it I may never fully understand, but that's alright.

Hmmmm I'm not really sure how I got into all this, but I guess I needed it. I guess blogging is good for something. I seem to always end up preaching to myself and encouraging myself.

Really seriously it's never my intent to blog about what I end up blogging about, some how though it happens. Well I have to stop procrastinating hanging up my wet laundry. Plus my adrenaline is giving up and my eyes are getting heavy and I'm going to start yawning. I have a lot I need to accomplish this weekend so I need some good sleep. I really do intend to post pics from the concert on here, but right now I'm feeling too lazy. Don't worry I'm going to change and choose to do something about that this weekend just not right now. LOL See I really do have procrastination problems that I'm trying to break.

I am sooooo thankful that tomorrow is a new day!!!!!