Just Not Feeling It

I've just not been feeling blogging lately. Believe me I have sat down and tried but each time my mind and my fingers rebel against the thought. It goes something like this... "I should blog. What should I blog about?" So I sit down and log in and start typing something and before long I can't think of anything interesting and then I start thinking about other things I need to do such as homework or dishes or reading a book or text a friend and I my fingers start telling me that they are tired after typing up all that homework. I just run out blogging ambition. I don't think it's always so much I don't have much to say, my thoughts just run over and I get overwhelmed and then I "just don't feel it". I am trying to get re-inspired especially since I just caught up on reading my two favorite blogs. Modest is Hottest and Yaak Adventures.

This will have to be somewhat short however as I should be getting ready to go to church, but I'm not cutting it too close don't worry. I have been super busy (of course) and finals are coming up. I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to graduating in 6 weeks. I can't believe how fast it's gone. Many of you may be wondering what exactly is next for me well, I put forth some tidbits after spring break but here are my plans. I am moving home to my parents house deep in the boonies of MN for the summer, hopefully I will work at a camp near them. I had an interview with the camp last Friday and I think it went well. Either way I am moving home. Than in August I am moving to a big town that ends with an H that's closer to my parents house than where I am now. I am going to be going to college again and will be taking mostly general classes with the thought that I may decide to get a 2 year degree in business. Every time I have thought about moving somewhere I have kept coming back to this big town that ends with an H. So after considering my options. This is my decision.

Believe me when I say that this is not a decision that I have made lightly. It is also a decision that is not coming easy for me to walk out. Around every corner seems to be another obstacle that I have to overcome and another uncertainty that I have to avoid freaking out over. I have had to take it one day at a time. I feel like I've got most things taken care of now, but I'm staying on my guard.

I have been having some amazing fun with friends. I'm not always sure how I get it all squeezed in but I have to say that I love it :) Late night walks, time in the park, lots of talking, ice cream, texting, randomness these are all things that pretty much sum it up.

Well I have some other deeper thoughts that I want to post, but I have to get ready for church now. And I have plans this afternoon, so hopefully I will post again today, but don't hold me to it.
Later-

Sitting Here Thinking

I have about an hour before I have to be at work. And I am sitting here thinking about a lot of stuff so I thought I would let you all in on a few of my very deep thoughts. LOL!



In one week I will be home and trying to rearrange 9 months of stuff, so that my room will be liveable for the 3 months I will be home. I think by the time it's how I want it to be it will be time for me to move back to Hibbing for my second year of culinary. Oh well, life is meant to be interesting. This summer I will be doing housekeeping in El* at an outfitters there. It should be interesting.

I hosted a few "parties" in the last few weeks. I believe I mentioned one in my last blog. I had fun hanging with friends even though it got late and I was tired and still am tired. I wouldn't trade any of it for anything. I got see some sides of people that I wouldn't have ever seen otherwise. I don't know what I am supposed to do with any of it. Ecspecially when it has to do with two certain people. I hate feeling like I am reading things into certain things. For some I would love to be wrong about others I would just like to understand. I got to here some different music... The Spill Canvas has some interesting music, that's for sure, and that was only one of them. I now have some music that one of my classmates did. It's really good.

College is definitely a learning experience. I have learned and grown a lot over the past year. I've walked through stuff that could have totally freaked me out, if not for the grace of God. I have lots of stories to tell, that I am not going to go into right now. Life is so good. I just wish that it didn't have to change so much. I was reading a book while waiting for someone to come over today, it's one I've heard before but it was difinetly worth reading again..."True courage is not the abscence of fear. It is refusing to allow fear to control your actions." Here is one that correlates as well, "Slavery to fear is much worse than the bruises and scars of a few falls." As I was reading, I was also listening to music and these lyrics caught my attention-

But I won't question in the dark
What is true out in the light
I will follow after You
Through the sun and through the night
Cause You've got me
Right where You want me
Yeah You've got me
Right where I need to be
And I'm standing amazed

These lyrics caught my attention because it's something that I have battled with. How many times do I question the Lord when things aren't going how I want and I am discouraged, but the principles and things that I know are still true they just seem really quiet. I'm tired of questioning in the dark when I know what's true. If that makes since. I've had the reassurance throughout this last year that I am right where He has wanted me to be. And in the good times I do stand amazed, now in those dark times I just have to remember that. I hope my ramblings make some sense.

Well I have to be to work in about 10 mintues so I had better get moving.

Later-