Onward, Upward, Forward

My heart is singing... I just can't stop it and I definitely can't contain it. So many things have taken place that could only come together by God's hand. I really can't explain how amazing things are right now. So many things that I felt were coming last semester have come to fruition. I have connections and I have moved into leadershipish positions that I never dreamed of being capable of. God has really hedged before me as well as behind. The more I live the more I come to realize how much easier life is when I trust things to His capable hands. When my life is centered around His heart, I can not be swayed.

Not everything is perfect, not every situation is where I want it to be. I don't know all the answers. What's around the corner? Your guess is as good as mine. I do know that it will be great and I will grow and that God is good.

My heart is so full, I can't get it all typed.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My heart awakens, set me ablaze, let me burn with passion, I will run my race, I set my gaze on the one who won't let go.

Hidden on a Hill

I have decided that I will post some of the things that I am writing for my college composition classes. I don't much feel like blogging right now so I won't go into much of my life right now. I am happy to annouce that I am writing a book, I don't necessarily have a title or a real clear topic for the book, but it will be non-fiction. I will put a few glimpses/excerpts on here from time time. It should be an interesting book as I live an interesting life :) not really... but I have an interesting point of view on life due to the way I was raised, my educational experiences, my moral standard and my "religious" (I hate the word religious but I think that's the most universal way to refer to it) views.

A New Day

So the best way to describe what I'm feeling is to give a description that maybe you can relate to. Do you know how it feels to be coming out of a black tunnel and you saw the light at the end, but than all of the sudden you were in it? That feeling of relief and joy and awe of the glory of the light. That's the way I feel. The feeling goes sooo deep. I'm content and peaceful and refreshed mentally, emotionally and physically. Well physically I get tired but you know, that's a good thing, because it proves I'm alive. I know life is probably going to get busier and there are always new battles to face. I have confidence in the God that I serve wholeheartedly and that gives me confidence to face whatever the next bend in the road brings.



Today is my birthday and I no I won't tell you how old I am now. It's really hard for me to explain the way I'm feeling. I have found my home in the cleft of the rock and I don't want to go back to the valley. I'm willing to fight. There are things that my heart desires for this new year of my life. Sometimes it's so heavy with longing that I don't know what I'm going to do. Yet I can keep my gaze on Him rather than on my desires. Yes I know He placed those desires in me, and in the right time I know they will be fulfilled.



The road to this place that I am at has not been easy and I don't have it all figured out. But I am reveling in it and I'm going to enjoy it. I'm going to take each day and be thankful for it.



I've found some safe places to be some safe people to be around. I'm getting out of my comfort zone. I'm pursueing, tasting, seeing, loving, living, showing, and testifying the GOODNESS of the GOD I serve. This is my joy and this is my song. The joy of the Lord is my strength.



Just so you know I am living in reality, I have to go do homework quick because I have a full day ahead of me. I just wanted to share something positive. Because life is positive.

Sometimes....

Lately I just don't know.... Well I do but.... you know those days.... where....

I have had some interesting situations to walk through. When isn't life interesting? I've had a good week! Sunday I went to Duluth and saw my Aunt and Uncle and my cousins. That was good, it was a much needed break. I hung out with a friend on Monday, that was fun it made my day better. Monday I was fighting the why me's and feeling crabby and than I got a call that just made my day. Sshh don't tell that person :) Than Tuesday I hung out with another friend... That was a little more interesting, but I think I gracefully glided through it. Wednsday I worked after school. Despite the fact that it was my birthday it was a very low-key day. Than today after class I did homework and I went to The Edge. That was fun.

My classes are still going really well. It turns out that I am going to be chef for the first buffet which is next month. I'm a little nervous about that... It will be an interesting experience. I finished my Finnish menu choices for my cost control final. Now I have to pick the recipes and cost them all out. It's going to be a lot of work. I have learned quite a bit so far. It's really interesting to think about another countries food and how food gets to be a considered to belong to a specific ethnic group. I've been having fun in my baking class. It's been a really great experience so far.

I've been feeling so out of sync when it comes to some things. I so badly want to hear the voice of God more and more clearly. It's so important in this day and age. I don't want theology I want a revelation. I want to be so filled with the light of God that the darkness tries to hide. People don't need to just understand God with their brains, they need to see how real God is and really know who He is.

I've been thinking that I once again need to turn my eyes to the goodness of God. I need to look at all that He's doing rather than look at things I want to change. Maybe if I change my focus I won't feel so much lacking. I'm so sick and tired of this cycle that seems so pointless and endless. I don't want to be moved by how I feel because my feelings shouldn't move me so much.
I want to be able to handle some situations better....

Life just keeps getting more interesting everyday.

Still no matter the circumstances... Peace Reigns, Love Wins and Joy is in the House!!!!

Well....

I really don't know where the time exactly goes (I know that I seem to always come back to this), but it's true. I am down to only 3 1/2 weeks of school left. It's incredible that I am almost done with my first year of college.

This last week was really busy and I missed my computer class all week and it's canceled on Monday. My culinary classes went well though so that is a really good feeling. I'm feeling more confident all around in the kitchen. On Monday the whole class went to the food show in Duluth it was really interesting. I tasted a lot of food, including an apple pear, passion fruit, and Captain Ken's bake beans, plus a whole lot more. Then on Tuesday I participated in prepping for the foundation dinner which was fun and a ton of work for it all to be over in an hour. For the first time I tried Calamari, and the texture is indescribably weird. There was also cured salmon with a cucumber dill sauce the sauce was amazing and I don't like cucumbers. The fried plantains were really good so was the galiantine. The theme of the appetizers and main entree was the pirates of penzance. So Wednesday was a 13 hour day in the kitchen, needless to say it was a crazy day! I did get all the homework from the last week done and turned in. Thursday was the Empty Bowl, which is a fundraiser for the Food Shelf. It was pretty relaxed in the kitchen, we spent quite a bit of time just kind of cleaning the kitchen. Not fun but better than standing around doing nothing. The last 2 weeks of school will more than likely pretty much consist of cleaning the kitchen for the summer. That should be "fun"?!

There are still some things that need to be done around here, like a tiny bit of computer homework. I need to upload pics to Walmart so that I can get them before I move back home! Once again my apartment is messy, my bathroom really needs to be cleaned, and I absolutely have to do laundry tomorrow. I plan on doing it early so that I don't have to deal with a lot of people hanging out, they should all still be sleeping on a Saturday morning ecspecially after a pajama party. Please don't ask, I was "invited", but I haven't a clue!

I am really looking forward to leaving and taking a break from the craziness of people here. Most of the time it is okay. Still there are some beliefs, values and attitudes that I could really do without and it is true that some of them are mine. All of the sudden I'm tired, it's been kind of a long day. Plus I do have to work tomorrow afternoon and I need to run some errands. I'm almost ready to start seriously preparing to move back home. I have a feeling that time is going to go way too fast until then and that the summer is going to fly and school will start all over, but hey I'm getting way to ahead of myself now. Although thinking that far ahead is not stressing me out and that is a very good feeling! I think I had better head to bed now. Until later ya'll