Some days it's really hard to look at the big picture. Most of the time it's way too easy to continually look at the valleys and at how high the mountain tops are. I was very grateful for my Aunt's reminder that in the big picture some trials are very small. Yet as we are walking through/up they seem like Mount Everest. I had to walk through a situation this weekend that wasn't easy, but God had been dealing with me on it and I knew I was riding the fence. It was really hard for me to bite the bullet, I cried and prayed my way through it. It wasn't fun, but I passed the test and I know God was smiling down at me. I know that what God has for me will be so much better, I don't want the counterfeit or second best. I want His absolute best for me. God and I have been dealing with this particular issue for awhile now and I finally said "Ok God I'll do it your way, I'll let it go and throw myself into your arms and trust." I have to refine my focus and look not just at what's right in front of me, but at the entire landscape.
Sometimes it's really hard to be still and know that He truly is God. Lately I have been struggling to keep my joy. Most days I feel like I'm just surviving, but not truly thriving. I need to get my joy back, I know that it's not a natural thing and it's not based on circumstances. It's supernatural and in it is my strength.
School is going well overall. There aren't too many things that I really want to complain about. I just know that things could be way better than they are.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
Awesome Drama from Collision 2009 - "Motions"
I watched the conference on Godtv and loved it. So I just had to post this video from it.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Sometimes....
Lately I just don't know.... Well I do but.... you know those days.... where....
I have had some interesting situations to walk through. When isn't life interesting? I've had a good week! Sunday I went to Duluth and saw my Aunt and Uncle and my cousins. That was good, it was a much needed break. I hung out with a friend on Monday, that was fun it made my day better. Monday I was fighting the why me's and feeling crabby and than I got a call that just made my day. Sshh don't tell that person :) Than Tuesday I hung out with another friend... That was a little more interesting, but I think I gracefully glided through it. Wednsday I worked after school. Despite the fact that it was my birthday it was a very low-key day. Than today after class I did homework and I went to The Edge. That was fun.
My classes are still going really well. It turns out that I am going to be chef for the first buffet which is next month. I'm a little nervous about that... It will be an interesting experience. I finished my Finnish menu choices for my cost control final. Now I have to pick the recipes and cost them all out. It's going to be a lot of work. I have learned quite a bit so far. It's really interesting to think about another countries food and how food gets to be a considered to belong to a specific ethnic group. I've been having fun in my baking class. It's been a really great experience so far.
I've been feeling so out of sync when it comes to some things. I so badly want to hear the voice of God more and more clearly. It's so important in this day and age. I don't want theology I want a revelation. I want to be so filled with the light of God that the darkness tries to hide. People don't need to just understand God with their brains, they need to see how real God is and really know who He is.
I've been thinking that I once again need to turn my eyes to the goodness of God. I need to look at all that He's doing rather than look at things I want to change. Maybe if I change my focus I won't feel so much lacking. I'm so sick and tired of this cycle that seems so pointless and endless. I don't want to be moved by how I feel because my feelings shouldn't move me so much.
I want to be able to handle some situations better....
Life just keeps getting more interesting everyday.
Still no matter the circumstances... Peace Reigns, Love Wins and Joy is in the House!!!!
I have had some interesting situations to walk through. When isn't life interesting? I've had a good week! Sunday I went to Duluth and saw my Aunt and Uncle and my cousins. That was good, it was a much needed break. I hung out with a friend on Monday, that was fun it made my day better. Monday I was fighting the why me's and feeling crabby and than I got a call that just made my day. Sshh don't tell that person :) Than Tuesday I hung out with another friend... That was a little more interesting, but I think I gracefully glided through it. Wednsday I worked after school. Despite the fact that it was my birthday it was a very low-key day. Than today after class I did homework and I went to The Edge. That was fun.
My classes are still going really well. It turns out that I am going to be chef for the first buffet which is next month. I'm a little nervous about that... It will be an interesting experience. I finished my Finnish menu choices for my cost control final. Now I have to pick the recipes and cost them all out. It's going to be a lot of work. I have learned quite a bit so far. It's really interesting to think about another countries food and how food gets to be a considered to belong to a specific ethnic group. I've been having fun in my baking class. It's been a really great experience so far.
I've been feeling so out of sync when it comes to some things. I so badly want to hear the voice of God more and more clearly. It's so important in this day and age. I don't want theology I want a revelation. I want to be so filled with the light of God that the darkness tries to hide. People don't need to just understand God with their brains, they need to see how real God is and really know who He is.
I've been thinking that I once again need to turn my eyes to the goodness of God. I need to look at all that He's doing rather than look at things I want to change. Maybe if I change my focus I won't feel so much lacking. I'm so sick and tired of this cycle that seems so pointless and endless. I don't want to be moved by how I feel because my feelings shouldn't move me so much.
I want to be able to handle some situations better....
Life just keeps getting more interesting everyday.
Still no matter the circumstances... Peace Reigns, Love Wins and Joy is in the House!!!!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Interesting... Wow, is it Ever..No Nevermind
Ok so my blog title is pretty much just to catch your attention, because I have no idea where I'm going. I don't know if you've noticed but that's pretty much always the case. LOL
I am sure you would all like to hear more stories from my life here at college. So let's see... My psychology of adjustment class is interesting but there are somethings that get talked about that I go In it we have lots of diesel guys, this makes for an interesting class, as well. Last week we got to do a class activity. A statement was made and we had to move about the room to different sections representing whether we "Strongly Agreed" "Weakly Agreed" "Neutral" "Strongly Disagreed" or "Weakly Agreed". It was interesting to see where people stood on different social issues. I think most people where fairly conservative in there stance, to a degree. I think the class size is about 25 people.
Let's see what else. Oh, my roommate situation is going very well for those of you who are wondering after hearing my horror stories from last year. My roommate and I get along great.
So far my main instructor for the year is remarkably in a good mood, compared to last year. Which is great!!!! I have been having fun in the kitchen with all my classmates, it's almost like one big happy family! There are a couple people that I and everyone have to walk in a little extra grace with. This coming week is the first year's transition week into running the cafeteria kitchen. There is a grand total of 23 first years this year. For awhile no one knew what the final count would be. Every day it seemed they lost at least one and gained a couple more it was a little crazy at one point they had 27 students. My second year class is at 14 and two of them are transplants from previous first years. So starting on the 22nd of September, my class will all be moved over to the fine dining side and beginning to run the restaurant! I still can hardly believe that it's my second year of college!
As for activities outside of school, right now I go to the Edge on Thursday nights, which is fun. It's nice to actually know people this time around. :) Unfortunately I won't be able to attend Chi Alpha this year :( Despite the fact that they have it 2 days a week. I am a little bummed about that, but oh well. I do hang out with a couple of my classmates some evenings, which is an adventure all in itself. Of course one BIG consistent activity that I do is homework. It's not at lot of fun, but it contributes to a good grade so it is worth my time :) I am hopeing to be able to hang out with a couple of other people too. Oh and I might have a pampered chef party, that would be fun. There isn't a lot to do here in town, unfortunately.
Today I slept in! Yay!!! Then I lounged around for awhile, before running some errands. Don't tell her but I think I have my sister Sal's birthday present. Sshhh! I went to the mall (the term mall is an exageration) and checked out a couple things at JCPenney's. There is a hidden meaning in the previous sentence. I also had to go get gas and some groceries and gas at WallyWorld. I've been at work since 1 and I am getting a little tired of sitting here. It's not very exciting at all.
I'm not sure what else to blog about, tomorrow I'm going to church and then I need to clean my bathroom and do some minor cleaning in my bedroom. Oh and I should probably seriously spend some time on the next step of my Cost Control final. It's such a lot of work :P
Peace reigns, love wins and joy is in the house!
I am sure you would all like to hear more stories from my life here at college. So let's see... My psychology of adjustment class is interesting but there are somethings that get talked about that I go In it we have lots of diesel guys, this makes for an interesting class, as well. Last week we got to do a class activity. A statement was made and we had to move about the room to different sections representing whether we "Strongly Agreed" "Weakly Agreed" "Neutral" "Strongly Disagreed" or "Weakly Agreed". It was interesting to see where people stood on different social issues. I think most people where fairly conservative in there stance, to a degree. I think the class size is about 25 people.
Let's see what else. Oh, my roommate situation is going very well for those of you who are wondering after hearing my horror stories from last year. My roommate and I get along great.
So far my main instructor for the year is remarkably in a good mood, compared to last year. Which is great!!!! I have been having fun in the kitchen with all my classmates, it's almost like one big happy family! There are a couple people that I and everyone have to walk in a little extra grace with. This coming week is the first year's transition week into running the cafeteria kitchen. There is a grand total of 23 first years this year. For awhile no one knew what the final count would be. Every day it seemed they lost at least one and gained a couple more it was a little crazy at one point they had 27 students. My second year class is at 14 and two of them are transplants from previous first years. So starting on the 22nd of September, my class will all be moved over to the fine dining side and beginning to run the restaurant! I still can hardly believe that it's my second year of college!
As for activities outside of school, right now I go to the Edge on Thursday nights, which is fun. It's nice to actually know people this time around. :) Unfortunately I won't be able to attend Chi Alpha this year :( Despite the fact that they have it 2 days a week. I am a little bummed about that, but oh well. I do hang out with a couple of my classmates some evenings, which is an adventure all in itself. Of course one BIG consistent activity that I do is homework. It's not at lot of fun, but it contributes to a good grade so it is worth my time :) I am hopeing to be able to hang out with a couple of other people too. Oh and I might have a pampered chef party, that would be fun. There isn't a lot to do here in town, unfortunately.
Today I slept in! Yay!!! Then I lounged around for awhile, before running some errands. Don't tell her but I think I have my sister Sal's birthday present. Sshhh! I went to the mall (the term mall is an exageration) and checked out a couple things at JCPenney's. There is a hidden meaning in the previous sentence. I also had to go get gas and some groceries and gas at WallyWorld. I've been at work since 1 and I am getting a little tired of sitting here. It's not very exciting at all.
I'm not sure what else to blog about, tomorrow I'm going to church and then I need to clean my bathroom and do some minor cleaning in my bedroom. Oh and I should probably seriously spend some time on the next step of my Cost Control final. It's such a lot of work :P
Peace reigns, love wins and joy is in the house!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
What is Worth It?
Don't ask me if the title of this blog is supposed to make any sense, ok. I just want to figure is what I have been trying NOT to think about worth my time trying NOT to think about it? I don't know. If I stop trying NOT to think about it will I stop thinking about it? I have no clue! I wish I knew the answer. Right now I am just really tired and I just finished my homework and it took me about 4 hours to do 3 questions, of course I had my tv on, but still I was diligently working. I don't even know if I did it right. It kind of freaks me out because I really want to do well in my classes, I just don't know. It doesn't help that right now I am super emotional and a tish crabby because of it. And to add to all that I seem to be constantly crabby. Oh and did I mention that there is drama going on? I really don't like drama it just gets so over dramatic. It doesn't bother me as much as last year and most of it just rolls right off my back, but it sure is annoying. Why do so many people depend on drama to entertain them? I'm not really sure. I know one person who's life statement is... oh never mind, I can't really say it on here. The ups and downs of college life wouldn't be so up and down if it weren't for those around me having so many ups and downs that seem to slightly effect mine.
Here is my question of the week (even though the week is almost over): What is worth it (i.e. my time, my thoughts, my efforts, my talking)? Actually I should say that that is the question I will be judging everything by and I will use Phil 4:? (I'm too tired to go check the verse on that one, but it's the one that goes, "whatever is pure, whatever is noble, etc.... think on these things")
You have just read my rambling and very tired thoughts. I hope it was worth your time. I don't really think it was but I'm still going to publish it. I'm not sure why though...
P.S. Life is going just fine, it's actually pretty good all in all. :)
Here is my question of the week (even though the week is almost over): What is worth it (i.e. my time, my thoughts, my efforts, my talking)? Actually I should say that that is the question I will be judging everything by and I will use Phil 4:? (I'm too tired to go check the verse on that one, but it's the one that goes, "whatever is pure, whatever is noble, etc.... think on these things")
You have just read my rambling and very tired thoughts. I hope it was worth your time. I don't really think it was but I'm still going to publish it. I'm not sure why though...
P.S. Life is going just fine, it's actually pretty good all in all. :)
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
God Things
Do you ever just have the desire to see God things happen? I do. I know that they are always happening if we open our eyes, ears and hearts to see and hear and be available. I just finished watching the movie "August Rush". Wow it's such an amazing movie. It touches my heart and makes me long to listen, and open myself up to the Holy Spirit. I don't know what the creators, directors, or producers wanted to accomplish with the movie, but there are some really cool examples in it. If you haven't seen it you'll have to just watch the movie.
Sometimes we have to get out of our comfort zones and follow the "music" that God's put inside us. We have to trust the Holy Spirit to led guide and direct us. We may often get delayed by things that look good and yet are counterfeits and not the full picture that God has for us nor His best. For every temptation there is a way of escape. God is a redeemer of the times. He doesn't just stand back and go, "Oh look at how the world goes around I wonder what's going to happen next." He actively gets involved in our lives, and will do awesome things beyond what we can imagine. There are things in front of us and inside us that God put there, because He has a plan and a purpose for our good and to prosper us. We can't let circumstances or people's opinions sway us. We have to listen to the Spirit to know when to come and where to go even when it looks futile and hopeless. Even if we just see the bits and pieces, one here and one there, God sees the big picture. There is a song in everyone that needs to be played by the orchestra of life with the greatest conductor of all time!
Yes, I got all this from the movie and there is more too. You really should watch it seriously.
Peace Reigns, Love Wins and Joy is in the House!
Until Next Time
Sometimes we have to get out of our comfort zones and follow the "music" that God's put inside us. We have to trust the Holy Spirit to led guide and direct us. We may often get delayed by things that look good and yet are counterfeits and not the full picture that God has for us nor His best. For every temptation there is a way of escape. God is a redeemer of the times. He doesn't just stand back and go, "Oh look at how the world goes around I wonder what's going to happen next." He actively gets involved in our lives, and will do awesome things beyond what we can imagine. There are things in front of us and inside us that God put there, because He has a plan and a purpose for our good and to prosper us. We can't let circumstances or people's opinions sway us. We have to listen to the Spirit to know when to come and where to go even when it looks futile and hopeless. Even if we just see the bits and pieces, one here and one there, God sees the big picture. There is a song in everyone that needs to be played by the orchestra of life with the greatest conductor of all time!
Yes, I got all this from the movie and there is more too. You really should watch it seriously.
Peace Reigns, Love Wins and Joy is in the House!
Until Next Time
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Update Before Week 2 Starts
So I thought I would give you all an update (I'm not sure who all read this).
The first week of school went really well. So far nothing too exciting has taken place. All of us 2nd years put the menu together for the next 2 weeks. We will be in the cafeteria through about the 21st. I still can hardly believe that I am back at school and it feels so normal. There are a lot of things that I can tell will stretch me in this school year, but that's why I am going to college so that I can learn and grow.
Yesterday I worked at the planetarium for 8 hours. It was pretty boring since I am being trained in to be a console operator. Speaking of which if anyone has a good birthday party game that is simple and doesn't take a lot of stuff. Comment on here pleeeeeaaaaassssseeee. Console operators have to host birthday parties. Which includes playing games with the kids. I think that is my least favorite part. Parents have such high expectations, I'm not sure why they expect so much from us when they don't even know what games to play. I did get homework done yesterday. I should do some more and get ahead a little bit though.
Already there is drama going on here. I am amazed at how many people are already starting dating relationships with people they barely know. As well as the lengths people will go to get a guy or a girl. I don't think college is all about seeing how fast you can hook-up with someone. Although I do understand how tempting it is, because when you don't "fit the norm" you get lonely. I don't like to be lonely, but I want God's best for my life, I don't want to settle for second best and than regret it, ya know.
Well I should go to bed here because once again tomorrow is Monday and I want to be fresh for the start of my second week of school. I will leave you with a qoute of a qoute from "When God Writes Your Love Story" that I thought was really interesting and made me really think.
"If we cut off their tongues and forbid the Christian speech, they love with their hands, with their feet and with their eyes, they love always and everywhere until their last respiration. Does anybody know how to take out the power of love from these stupid Christians?" This was spoken by a Romanian prison guard who found both his fulfillment and frustration in torturing Christians
Remember to really live today, because tomorrow is always tomorrow and yesterday is always past.
Shalom
The first week of school went really well. So far nothing too exciting has taken place. All of us 2nd years put the menu together for the next 2 weeks. We will be in the cafeteria through about the 21st. I still can hardly believe that I am back at school and it feels so normal. There are a lot of things that I can tell will stretch me in this school year, but that's why I am going to college so that I can learn and grow.
Yesterday I worked at the planetarium for 8 hours. It was pretty boring since I am being trained in to be a console operator. Speaking of which if anyone has a good birthday party game that is simple and doesn't take a lot of stuff. Comment on here pleeeeeaaaaassssseeee. Console operators have to host birthday parties. Which includes playing games with the kids. I think that is my least favorite part. Parents have such high expectations, I'm not sure why they expect so much from us when they don't even know what games to play. I did get homework done yesterday. I should do some more and get ahead a little bit though.
Already there is drama going on here. I am amazed at how many people are already starting dating relationships with people they barely know. As well as the lengths people will go to get a guy or a girl. I don't think college is all about seeing how fast you can hook-up with someone. Although I do understand how tempting it is, because when you don't "fit the norm" you get lonely. I don't like to be lonely, but I want God's best for my life, I don't want to settle for second best and than regret it, ya know.
Well I should go to bed here because once again tomorrow is Monday and I want to be fresh for the start of my second week of school. I will leave you with a qoute of a qoute from "When God Writes Your Love Story" that I thought was really interesting and made me really think.
"If we cut off their tongues and forbid the Christian speech, they love with their hands, with their feet and with their eyes, they love always and everywhere until their last respiration. Does anybody know how to take out the power of love from these stupid Christians?" This was spoken by a Romanian prison guard who found both his fulfillment and frustration in torturing Christians
Remember to really live today, because tomorrow is always tomorrow and yesterday is always past.
Shalom
Strength in Weakness
I was reading a book today and I read this scripture and thought it was really cool so I figured I would share it with all of you.
Isaiah 30:15-26 (The Message)
God Takes the Time to Do Everything Right 15-17God, the Master, The Holy of Israel, has this solemn counsel:"Your salvation requires you to turn back to me and stop your silly efforts to save yourselves.Your strength will come from settling down in complete dependence on me—The very thing you've been unwilling to do.You've said, 'Nothing doing! We'll rush off on horseback!' You'll rush off, all right! Just not far enough!You've said, 'We'll ride off on fast horses!' Do you think your pursuers ride old nags?Think again: A thousand of you will scatter before one attacker. Before a mere five you'll all run off.There'll be nothing left of you— a flagpole on a hill with no flag, a signpost on a roadside with the sign torn off."
18But God's not finished. He's waiting around to be gracious to you. He's gathering strength to show mercy to you.God takes the time to do everything right—everything. Those who wait around for him are the lucky ones.
19-22Oh yes, people of Zion, citizens of Jerusalem, your time of tears is over. Cry for help and you'll find it's grace and more grace. The moment he hears, he'll answer. Just as the Master kept you alive during the hard times, he'll keep your teacher alive and present among you. Your teacher will be right there, local and on the job, urging you on whenever you wander left or right: "This is the right road. Walk down this road." You'll scrap your expensive and fashionable god-images. You'll throw them in the trash as so much garbage, saying, "Good riddance!"
23-26God will provide rain for the seeds you sow. The grain that grows will be abundant. Your cattle will range far and wide. Oblivious to war and earthquake, the oxen and donkeys you use for hauling and plowing will be fed well near running brooks that flow freely from mountains and hills. Better yet, on the Day God heals his people of the wounds and bruises from the time of punishment, moonlight will flare into sunlight, and sunlight, like a whole week of sunshine at once, will flood the land.
Isn't that awesome! So many times I get distracted and I get caught up in worrying and trying to figure things out. I really need to remember that "In returning to Him and resting in Him I shall be saved. In quietness and trusting confidence will be my strength." (that's the NKJV of verse 15). I can say this with all truthfulness I need strength to get through stuff in the days ahead. Good stuff and not so fun stuff. The previous passage goes really well with Isaiah 40:31 "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength they shall mount up on wings as eagles, they shall walk and not faint." I am so glad I don't have to walk through life completely on my own. I don't have to fight battles on my own. I am capable and confident when I rest in Him.
I think I will leave you with that.
Shalom
Isaiah 30:15-26 (The Message)
God Takes the Time to Do Everything Right 15-17God, the Master, The Holy of Israel, has this solemn counsel:"Your salvation requires you to turn back to me and stop your silly efforts to save yourselves.Your strength will come from settling down in complete dependence on me—The very thing you've been unwilling to do.You've said, 'Nothing doing! We'll rush off on horseback!' You'll rush off, all right! Just not far enough!You've said, 'We'll ride off on fast horses!' Do you think your pursuers ride old nags?Think again: A thousand of you will scatter before one attacker. Before a mere five you'll all run off.There'll be nothing left of you— a flagpole on a hill with no flag, a signpost on a roadside with the sign torn off."
18But God's not finished. He's waiting around to be gracious to you. He's gathering strength to show mercy to you.God takes the time to do everything right—everything. Those who wait around for him are the lucky ones.
19-22Oh yes, people of Zion, citizens of Jerusalem, your time of tears is over. Cry for help and you'll find it's grace and more grace. The moment he hears, he'll answer. Just as the Master kept you alive during the hard times, he'll keep your teacher alive and present among you. Your teacher will be right there, local and on the job, urging you on whenever you wander left or right: "This is the right road. Walk down this road." You'll scrap your expensive and fashionable god-images. You'll throw them in the trash as so much garbage, saying, "Good riddance!"
23-26God will provide rain for the seeds you sow. The grain that grows will be abundant. Your cattle will range far and wide. Oblivious to war and earthquake, the oxen and donkeys you use for hauling and plowing will be fed well near running brooks that flow freely from mountains and hills. Better yet, on the Day God heals his people of the wounds and bruises from the time of punishment, moonlight will flare into sunlight, and sunlight, like a whole week of sunshine at once, will flood the land.
Isn't that awesome! So many times I get distracted and I get caught up in worrying and trying to figure things out. I really need to remember that "In returning to Him and resting in Him I shall be saved. In quietness and trusting confidence will be my strength." (that's the NKJV of verse 15). I can say this with all truthfulness I need strength to get through stuff in the days ahead. Good stuff and not so fun stuff. The previous passage goes really well with Isaiah 40:31 "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength they shall mount up on wings as eagles, they shall walk and not faint." I am so glad I don't have to walk through life completely on my own. I don't have to fight battles on my own. I am capable and confident when I rest in Him.
I think I will leave you with that.
Shalom
Monday, August 24, 2009
First Day!
Today was my first day back it was good, just a tish boring though :). We went through syllabuses and did a ton of dishes, actually we did every single dish in the kitchen! It's a little sad because a few people it would have been fun to have back aren't back. The first year class this year is huge 23 people I think. And there are only 4 girls. I feel bad for them being outnumbered so. So far I think that the year is looking good. Life here can only get more interesting.
Right now I am reading this awesome book entitled "When God Writes Your Love Story" by Eric and Leslie Ludy. It's really good. It's very honest, truthful and full of thought provoking things. It reminds me of my parents and my aunt and uncle and a couple other couples I know. It's how I want to do it. I really don't want to do recreational dating, still it's hard to wait, when everyone around me is in some time of "romantic" relationship.
Hmmm I had another train of thought I wanted to follow and now I can't remember what it was... Oh well that's all for now I guess.
Peace Reigns, Love Wins and Joy is in the House!
Right now I am reading this awesome book entitled "When God Writes Your Love Story" by Eric and Leslie Ludy. It's really good. It's very honest, truthful and full of thought provoking things. It reminds me of my parents and my aunt and uncle and a couple other couples I know. It's how I want to do it. I really don't want to do recreational dating, still it's hard to wait, when everyone around me is in some time of "romantic" relationship.
Hmmm I had another train of thought I wanted to follow and now I can't remember what it was... Oh well that's all for now I guess.
Peace Reigns, Love Wins and Joy is in the House!
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